


a decade under the influence

by cjmasim



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: .......i mean technically, Coldplay, Concerts, M/M, Songfic, hints of future grzork, matt goes to a concert with his ex and that's where charlie comes in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22056580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmasim/pseuds/cjmasim
Summary: Matt planned to go to the Coldplay concert with Charlie back when they were dating, but now they're broken up. The date of the concert is rapidly approaching and, well, he has no one else to go with. Hanging out with his ex for a night isn't ideal, but he'll live. Probably.
Relationships: Anders Bjork/Matt Grzelcyk, Matt Grzelcyk/Charlie McAvoy
Kudos: 20





	a decade under the influence

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this & posted to tumblr back in august, so if it seems familiar that's why. i didn't include it in my drabble collection bc it's too long to call a drabble, and i do really like it so i figured i'd just post it as a whole fic. why not. 
> 
> posting it today because it's the end of the decade and the song that this fic is 100% based on is a good song for ending a decade. that is, ofc, a decade under the influence by taking back sunday. 
> 
> dedicated to powerfulantidote bc they requested this drabble several months ago, and i finally got around to writing it as a celebration for them getting to 10k edited on their wonderful fic [i just want to sell out my funeral](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130706/chapters/50286347).
> 
> enjoy!

“Hey man, I swear, I want to go, it’s just…”

“You don’t like them,” Matt sighs. “I know, I know.”

“No!” Jimmy says, far too quickly to be believable. “Uh.. I mean, I can’t get off work. They’ll fire me if I try to change shifts again.”

“Nah man, I totally get it,” Matt says. He knows Jimmy's never missed a shift – he only started working at Dunkin Donuts three weeks ago and he’s worked two total shifts. He probably isn’t even working Saturday like he claims. “I’ll just go see Coldplay with my ex. That’s who I bought the ticket for anyway, right? And he did want to still be friends.”

“Haha, yeah, like that ever works,” Jimmy says. “Uh, enjoy.”

With that, he walks off, leaving Matt alone once again. He really needs better friends. The only one who even had a believable excuse not to go with him was Brandon, and, well, he’s studying abroad in China right now. Not exactly an easy commute to Mohegan Sun. 

_Wait you and Charlie broke up????_ Brandon had texted him earlier that morning, three days after the breakup. He doesn’t really feel like going through it again.

_Yeah we just wanted different things._

_Ohhhh_ , Brandon’s reply is surprisingly quick considering that he barely has WiFi in China. _Sorry man :(( But hey he was kinda a dick who always dismissed your feelings anyway so maybe you should hook up with the opening act or something, get it out of your system_

 _The opening act is probably 40_ , Matt replies. He really doesn’t feel like acknowledging the rest of Brandon’s text. 

_Yeah ur right that’s more my type_

Matt is _not_ going to bother replying to that text. He gets up and throws the rest of his food away so he can leave the dining hall and go nap in his dorm for, like, twelve hours. Maybe he doesn’t deserve it, but he needs it. 

–

_They’re in the aquarium again, the site of their first date. Charlie’s enamored by the penguins, says he’s always wanted to see them but never gotten the chance. One of them looks at him, and Charlie’s smile grows, almost blinding Matt with how bright it is._

_He knows they spend more time in the aquarium than that, but in an instant they’re outside looking at the water. Charlie refuses to look at him._

_“I don’t know what else you expect me to do,” he says._

_Matt is quiet. He doesn’t want Charlie to do anything, and that’s kind of the issue here._

_“I mean, I picked you up whenever you got too drunk to get yourself home. I listened to you go on and on about your parents and the church and your fucking freshman math class. I even drove up to Boston in the middle of the night when you broke your ankle, spent my whole summer vacation with you – but whatever. None of that matters to you.”_

_“Charlie…”_

_“I just don’t think we’re compatible,” he says, finally looking at Matt. He can see his eyes welling up with tears, and he rushes to try to explain himself, but none of the words come out. His mouth is moving, but all that comes out is screaming, a horrible sound that makes him want to plug his ears shut but he can’t move, he can’t stop screaming, he can’t do anything but stand there and watch Charlie start to cry and scream at him, too, and it’s so loud._

_“It was all your fault,” he repeats, over and over and over and–_

“Matt, Matt!”

Matt drops back into consciousness almost instantly. He opens his eyes to see Sean, his roommate. 

“Dude, are you okay?”

Matt sits up without saying anything. Sean won’t take his eyes off of him, and he’s still hovering way too close. 

“I’m fine,” he mumbles. “Bad dream.”

“Yeah, I figured that. You want to talk about it?”

“No,” Matt says, just like he always does. It’s not like anything’s going to help when he has no choice but to see Charlie tomorrow.

–

The drive to Connecticut isn’t as awkward as Matt had feared it would be. Not that they’re getting along; they still haven’t said anything more than hello to each other. Not even “hi” or “hey”, but “hello”. 

Matt had to turn the volume up a few notches to drown out Charlie’s snores, and he’s reminded of the time they went down to New Jersey to see a show at the Stone Pony. The drive back up to Boston had been long, and Charlie had slept for most of it. Matt had thought the snoring was cute back then; now it’s just annoying. 

Still, it’s better than Charlie being awake, as he learns once they arrive and get into the venue. 

Charlie seems excited, anyway, so it’s not like it’s a total waste of money. Probably. Matt can’t really focus on anything other than the lack of Charlie’s hand in his, and it’s stupid because he doesn’t even want that, really, and Charlie’s still smiling and telling him all about the first time he heard _Viva la Vida_.

“Yo, zeebs!” Matt stops to see a guy with broad shoulders, a backwards Bucks snapback, and two gold chains around his neck wrapped in pink and blue ribbon. He’s clearly talking to Matt, though where he got the nickname or how Matt knew it was directed at him, he has no idea. 

“You’re wearing black and white stripes, you know, like a zebra,” the guy explains. “Anyway, you looked lost in thought. Don’t think – ah, yeah, okay, your friend just noticed you stopped.” Matt looks, and sure enough, Charlie has also stopped and is coming back to see what’s happening. 

“Uh, who–“

“I’m Anders,” the guy says, holding out a hand to shake. 

“Matt,” he says. It’s lame, and he knows his voice doesn’t even sound remotely friendly, but the guy doesn’t stop smiling. 

“I’m better known by my stage name,” Anders grins. “Two Tranz. You like rap?”

“Uh, yeah,” Matt says.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He reaches into a bag Matt hadn’t even noticed he was holding and takes out a CD, a small scrap of paper that Matt will later learn is Anders’ parking pass for the arena, and a pen. “Here’s a free CD,” he says, handing Matt the CD and scribbling something on the paper without looking up to make sure he’s still there. Matt would consider bailing, but the guy _is_ hot and his alternative is hanging with his ex. Charlie doesn’t look happy standing alone a few feet over, and Matt is torn between feeling vindicated and guilty. “And, just for you, Matthew, here’s my number.” 

Now _that –_ well, Matt doesn’t have time to think about that, really, but that is certainly something. 

“This for a street team promotion or something?” It’s a weak attempt at a joke, but he’s not just going to take this guy’s number without saying anything.

“Nah, it’s because you’re hot,” Anders says, and Matt’s mind decides to take a vacation again.

“I…”

“Uh, sorry, if that’s–“

“No, no,” Matt says. “I, uh, thanks, I’m just – sorry, I’m not – I just – my boyfriend broke up with me, like, four days ago, but it wasn’t – uh, wait, he can probably hear me – oh God, this is a disaster. Sorry, I–“

Anders puts an arm around his shoulder, pulling Matt in like they’re best friends or – or something.

“Hey man, I’m sorry if it’s too much. But just listen to my mixtape and you’ll feel better, I promise. I’ve had some pretty shitty exes, but my last one – Brock – we’re still close friends. I get it, I think.”

If Matt didn’t know how to respond to a compliment, he _really_ doesn’t know what to say to this.

“Hey, Gryz, can we hurry up? The line is moving,” Charlie yells over. 

“Uh…” Anders makes a face at him, and Matt is pretty sure he’s encouraging him to go with Charlie. “Coming!”

“Go have fun,” Anders says. “I don’t know what your relationship is like, but you love Coldplay, right? Otherwise, why would you be here? Just go have fun, zeebs. Text me later if you want, but if you listen to the mixtape you’re legally obligated to text me.”

Matt laughs. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that. You coming in too?” It would be shitty to make Anders play third wheel to him and Charlie, but when has Matt ever done what’s best for someone?

Anders shakes his head. “Nah man, I gotta pay the bills. I’m just here to promote. See you around, though.”

“Yeah,” Matt says. “See you soon.” He realizes as he’s walking away that he actually meant it. He’ll have to text Anders later. 

–

The waiting is the hardest part. Everyone around them is talking to their friends or whoever they came with, and Matt is just pretending to listen to Charlie go on about the bagel water in New York while daydreaming about Anders being beside him. He really, _really_ needs to check out that mixtape. 

It’s stupid, he knows, to fixate on someone he’s only just met and may very well never talk to again. It’s kind of sad, really, that this two-minute conversation with a Soundcloud rapper was the first time Matt hasn’t felt like he had to hide in – months, probably. At least as long as Brandon’s been in China. No offense to Sean, really; he’s fine, but he’s friends with Charlie too. 

It’s not that Charlie is some asshole. He used to mean the world to Matt. Two years ago, they’d buy each other flowers and go to the aquarium and share stupid memes. Charlie would tell him about New York and Matt would be convinced that he loves the city, even as much as he hates their sports teams, and in turn, Matt would start to talk about the Bruins’ cup parade and watch as Charlie’s smile slowly faded. He’d act like he cared, of course, but by the time Matt got to the 2013 loss, he could always tell Charlie’s attention was elsewhere. 

“Are you even listening to me?”

Matt’s not really sure where the memory came from, that same sentence having been spoken far too many times by both of them over the past year, and then he realizes – 

“Matt.”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just a little spaced out. Excited, I guess,” he lies. He hadn’t even realized Charlie was speaking to him once he’d managed to tune it out. 

“Hey, it’s going to be great!” Charlie says with a smile. Matt doesn’t know how he does it. 

The rest of the wait is quiet, and it’s almost worse because Matt can tell Charlie feels the tension too. It’s awkward, and he thought concerts were supposed to be fun, but this is almost something out of a nightmare. All that’s missing is for Charlie to lose the optimism and realize how much of a fuck–up Matt is, and once he tells him, it won’t be long before Matt wakes up in a panic. 

“You excited to hear _Yellow_?” Charlie asks randomly. “You know, Bruins colors.”

Matt’s explained more times than he can count that the Bruins’ colors are black and _gold_ , not yellow, but he’s long since given up on Charlie ever getting it. 

“Yeah, totally,” he says instead, letting the conversation die once again.

It’s going to be a long night.

–

Overall, Matt does enjoy the night. Every minute that Coldplay isn’t playing is absolutely dreadful, and the pit of anxiety in his stomach never quite leaves, but there’s something magical about being in a room with thousands of people screaming the lyrics to _Fix You_. It’s less magical when Charlie won’t stop looking at him, his eyes far more sad than the song really warrants, but Matt tries his best to ignore it. 

The drive home isn’t any worse than the drive there, Charlie opting to sleep most of the way once again. Matt uses the last of his data plan to stream Two Tranz’ mixtape, and if Charlie notices what’s going on, he doesn’t say anything. The music absolutely fucks, and Matt knows he’s going to have to text Anders to let him know. 

Still, there’s no greater relief than when they finally turn onto Commonwealth Avenue and Matt watches Charlie walk up to his apartment with nothing more than a quick thanks and a wave. He drives off without even checking to see if any cars are coming – it’s nearly 3 in the morning, anyway – and gets home in record time. 

_Hey,_ he sends. _I know it’s late but that mixtape is top notch. Really helped me through that awkward car ride. Lmk if you’re ever in Boston_

It’s a long shot, but, well, he has nothing left to lose.

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist and cover art can be found [here](https://cjmasim.tumblr.com/post/627192374636019714/fic-24-a-decade-under-the-influence-ships)!


End file.
